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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22792705">Tightrope</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/luxraoe/pseuds/luxraoe'>luxraoe</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Tales of Xillia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>??? - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Yakuza, Alvin and Ludger get lowkey married, Angst, Elle is precious, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, How Do I Tag, Jude is just happy to help, Julius the gossiping housewife, M/M, Milla is a gossip too, Mutual Pining, Not Beta Read</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 17:54:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,637</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22792705</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/luxraoe/pseuds/luxraoe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Alvin couldn't help but stare, the quiet kid that would only say a handful of words at a time when they were younger was nowhere to be seen and what was sitting in front of him was beautiful. The desire, the longing to hold him close was all he wanted, but that meant giving up a lot of things for something so selfish - so normal. </p><p>It wasn’t fair.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alvin &amp; Leia Rolando, Alvin/Ludger Will Kresnik, Elle Mel Marta &amp; Ludger Will Kresnik, Jude Mathis &amp; Milla Maxwell, Julius Will Kresnik &amp; Ludger Will Kresnik, Milla Maxwell &amp; Ludger Will Kresnik</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Tightrope</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/sureimiku/gifts">sureimiku</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I have never finished something so fast before like, WOW.<br/>But I digress Sureimiku from twitter dot com this is for you and I hope you enjoy &lt;3 </p><p>+ Inspired by the og manga Tightrope by Isaku Natsume</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Ludger!!” <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“Ah!” <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>A young girl charged through the bedroom, the door left wide open as she jumped onto the bed. She flung herself forwards, the poor teenager only given a split second before her weight came crashing down onto his sternum. Lost for breath, Ludger was rudely awoken from his previously pleasant dreaming. Long blonde curls bounced freely, void of their usual ribbons, swaying in the air as the girl bounced on the small space that wasn’t occupied by long limbs. The grey haired boy groaned, trying to pull the covers back up to no avail. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>With another groan, he counted his losses and gave up on getting a few more precious minutes of sleep before sitting up, holding his arms out with a small smile to coax his little sister to stop wearing out his boxsprings. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“Good morning, lazy bones!” She giggled, kneeling over the bed spread and snaking her shorter arms around his neck to give Ludger a loose hug. “I made you breakfast today, so you better eat it all!”<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“Mm..” <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>The death of his sleep still lingered in his heart and there was only one way to avenge it’s tragic end.<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Taking advantage of their proximity, Ludger wiggled his fingers and attacked his sisters sides, forcing the girl into a violent fit of giggles. She wriggled and squirmed, flailing her limbs about before the older boy relented enough for her to run away. She ran down the hall of the second floor, her giggles echoing off the walls as she cried for Julius to save her from her <em> awful </em> older brother. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Ludger moved out of bed, closing the door to his room before stripping down and dressing into his school uniform. He fumbled in the mirror, struggling with his tie for a moment and then shrugging on his blazer. After a trip to the bathroom across the hall, the grey haired teen moseyed down the staircase to reach the kitchen. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Elle was standing on a step stool, packing up three separate bento boxes beside the kitchen island. The young girl was too busy arranging octopus weiners beside the forest of broccoli and flower shaped carrots. At the sink, Julius was washing up the dishes from this morning's activities. The blonde adjusted his  glasses and smiled at Ludger when he finally reached the kitchen. The younger brother shared the smile, entering the kitchenette. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“Morning, guys..” Ludger yawned. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“Morning Ludger,” Julius nodded his head to their small dining table. “Eat up quickly, Elle is very proud of her work today.” <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>The teen nodded, pulling out his chair and sitting down. He started by taking a sip of milk before taking hold of his chopsticks to pick up a piece of rolled egg. It was sweeter than he was used to, but it was cooked evenly and nearly melted in his mouth. Julius must have helped out with folding the egg because it was formed nearly perfectly. Elle was none to subtly sending him with an expectantly look from her spot in the kitchen, so he smiled as he took another bite. His sister took the positive reaction gleefully, finishing up their bentos and tying the plastic containers in neatly tied <em> furoshiki </em>. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“Don’t forget that you have to help me out at the shop tonight, alright?” Julius said. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“Mmhm.” The silent teen nodded, “Sure. I’ll be home before the dinner rush.” <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>After he finished off the last of his salad and toast, Ludger stood up and cleaned up his share of the dishes before grabbing his messenger bag. As he packed his things, Elle passed him two boxed bentos, "Tell Big Bro that I packed his favorite!" She instructed.<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“Of course,” He said with a soft smile, placing the containers into his bag with care. After that, Ludger took Elle’s hand and walked her to school. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>The younger girl’s elementary school was unfortunately in the opposite direction of Ludger’s high school, so when they reached the crosswalk halfway between, the older boy kneeled down brushed the flyaway strands of the girl’s hair - now tied in pastel green ribbons - and patted her head. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>He didn’t bother with repeating the routine words, Elle knew that he was telling her to be safe. She gave him a kiss on the cheek before running down the street towards the elementary school while Ludger waited for the crosswalk to turn green before continuing down his own route. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Not much farther from school grounds, he saw a group fighting in the park. The grey haired boy sighed heavily, spotting a familiar tall brunette and a shorter girl in the crowd when the larger moving bodies moved out of the way. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“Exclusive Expose!” The girl chimed, “Low ranking yakuza wannabes lose big time!” <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>A petite girl with brown hair, wearing the uniform of Ludger’s high school, taunted haughty. She cracked her knuckles, one of her shoes pinning down the head of a delinquent to the ground. Beside her, a brunette that was visibly more intimidating punched another thug to the ground. “Though, the outcome was to be expected,” Leia added, “You guys are, like, <em> super, </em>weak. Which gang are you from anyway?” She questioned, grinding the heel over her shoe further into the skull under her. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“You bunch had this coming to you.” He said, rounding up the group of three delinquents to peg them down with a stare. “Care to tell me who sent you or are we gonna’ have to do this the hard way?”<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Ludger frowned, brows furrowing down to express his exasperation. Swiftly, he closed the gap between him and the powerful duo, raised his hand and smacked the brunette behind his head. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“Ow!”<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“Let ‘em go, we have class.”<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“Oh, Ludger!” The girl gasped, his arrival giving the three troublemakers enough time to run away, much to the female brunette’s annoyance. “Hey, get back here, you lowlives!!” <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“If it’s any consolation, they started it.” The taller brunette grinned sheepishly, “Ain’t that right, Leia?” <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>She nodded her head, dusting off her leggings with a pout. “Yeah, they picked a fight with Alvin and threw the punch first. So rude, right?!” <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“Are you okay?” Ludger asked, scanning the boy for any injuries, “Leia?”<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“We’re both fine.” Alvin confirmed. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“Yup! Not a scratch, Alvin and I are just <em>too</em> <em>good</em>!” She gloated, riding her personal victory high. The two brunette’s shared highfives before the trio walked to school. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>As they walked, Leia was jotting down some notes into her pocketbook. Things to report back about the slight rise in activity they’ve been experiencing. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Alvin slung his bag over his shoulder, reaching his free hand out to ruffle Ludger’s hair to tease him, (“Awe, was Ludger worried about me~?”) to which the younger of the two would brush off his hand. The attempt was futile since that hand would just swoop down and rest on Ludger’s shoulder. He didn’t bother shrugging him off and dug through his bag to hand over the wrapped purple <em> furoshiki </em> with an exaggerated eye roll. The brunette was more than overjoyed to receive one of Elle’s loved filled bentos and Ludger could admit to being a <em> little </em> soft for Alvin’s affections towards him and his family. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Thinking back, they’ve always been together growing up. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Their late parents happened to be friends with each other, the Svent’s opening their gates to the Kresniks with open arms, which introduced Julius, Ludger and Alvin to each other since they were young. It wasn’t a coincidence that they attended the same elementary school together, the young brunette was all but glued to Ludger’s side since they became unlikely friends. Because of this, Ludger spent a lot of his time living with the Svent household when their parents were too busy with work to care for him and Julius after school ended.  <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>When Ludger was younger, he didn’t understand why the other kids were scared of Alvin. Just because he had a strict father, a large house and had so many older brothers despite none of them being related. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Even though he came to understand that Alvin lived as Yakuza, Ludger didn’t fear him since there really was nothing to be scared of. Alvin was the equivalent to an overgrown puppy. The brunette’s charisma complimented Ludger’s silent tendencies, breaking the habitually quiet boy out of his shell with sheer willpower and persistence. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Still, the truth remained that Alvin has been groomed for the succession of his family business for nearly nineteen years. That despite the cheerful smiles and playful teasing, there were times where Alvin’s eyes would darken. Alvin was yakuza though and though. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>That was until six months before they were meant to graduate high school and Alvin was due to take over as the next heir, the brunette had suddenly declared that he no longer wanted to be <em> Oyabun </em> for the <em> Svent-kai </em>. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>The announcement was sudden and abrupt, proclaiming that he refused his birthright and wanted to live a normal life. Apparently, out of all times to say such a thing, he chose the Svent<em> -kai </em>'s executive dinner as the perfect opportunity. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Reactions were unsurprisingly mixed. Several supporting his wishes, others trying to correct him and push towards his succession, while most were left unsettled. His uncle was the most vocal about him being so <em> selfish </em> , that leading the family was his <em> birthright. </em>His proclamation created unrest amongst the executive members, intentionally or not. For now, the news was just a secret amongst the few.<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“Alvin,” Ludger started, tugging on the sleeve of the brunette’s blazer, “You should succeed as the next heir.” <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>There was a flicker of <em> something </em> that flitted within those amber eyes. Anger, hurt, sadness, Ludger didn’t know, but Alvin shook his head and denied his words. He scratched his hair, a tell he could never grow out of that meant he was somewhat annoyed. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“Was is Jude or Milla that put you up to this?” He asked. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“Does it matter who?” <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“Not really, no.” <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>"... Let's just get to class."<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>The school day seemed to go by quickly because one minute Ludger was just sitting down for homeroom and then next he was following Alvin as the brunette storming through his house and opening several traditional <em> souji </em> doors before finally reaching the tea room. Jude was sitting comfortably on the tatami mats beside Milla sharing cups of fresh tea. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Milla’s blonde hair tied up in a perfect bun, held up by a fashioned hair stick. Her viridescent kimono faded to black, adorned with embroidered morning glories, their white petals bordering their red centers, and small hummingbirds. Fastened around her waist was a gold obi, tied off neatly at her back. Beside her, Jude was dressed more casually. A white dress shirt and slacks, his medal coat folded and left sitting by his side.<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Ludger was familiar with the pair, Jude more so than Milla. The older brunette was the family's private physician and Ludger had spent enough time with him as a kid, especially when the two young boys got hurt from playing too rough in the courtyard. Milla herself was a close associate of Alvin’s late father, temporarily taking over until Alvin was ready to succeed per the previous head’s request. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Ludger took a seat beside Milla, helping himself to a cup of tea. He had a feeling that this would be a meeting best spent with a drink. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“Alvin-<em> dono </em>, what a pleasant surprise. Did you have a good day at school?”<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“Oh, shut up,” Alvin huffed, begrudgingly taking a seat in front of his physician and charge with a scowl, “And stop addressing me like I'm already the head. I haven’t accepted my role yet.” <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“Yet?” Jude caught on, the bait too tempting not to pull. “I take it that means that Ludger has convinced you into succeeding?” <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>If Alvin lacked anymore self preservation, Ludger was sure he would be openly pouting, instead the brunette ran a hand through his hair with a heavier sigh. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“No, it doesn’t.” He corrected, “I still haven’t changed my mind, so stop dragging Ludger into this against his will!” <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Mila hummed pleasantly after taking another sip of her tea, appreciating the gentle aroma, before speaking up, “Ludger agrees with us though, so it’s not against his will.” She smirked, “Why would we not use a powerful asset during a battle?” <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“<em> This isn’t a battle </em> ...” Ludger mumbled softly from behind his cup, though his comment was unheard as Alvin whined loudly - <em> childishly </em> - at the idea that Ludger would <em> betray him </em> like this, looping an arm around the younger boy’s shoulders. “Well, it’s a better image than you working as a fruit merchant..” Ludger said, trying to hide his expression behind his cup. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“What’s wrong with selling fruit?” The brunette asked, “It’s a surprisingly lucrative market!” <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Milla set down her cup, her back straightening out as she seeked out Alvin’s eyes. Milla has always carried herself with elegance and pose, a demeanor that opposed her ability in combat. She’s always been forthright, capable of switching between friendly banter and strict business with ease. Alvin had sensed the change in atmosphere and straightened his posture in return. The grey haired boy had stiffened up as well, the sudden heavy atmosphere shaking him slightly. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“Alvin,” She began softly, easing “Please think more carefully about this. Not carrying on the Svent legacy will create insurgency amongst the ranks would cause chaos and that’s only considering our internal turmoil.” <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“If other gangs found out that our clan didn’t have a designated head, they may try to fight us for our numbers and territory.” Jude tacked on, “Ultimately, the conflict would leak out and affect the people<em> outside </em>.”<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Ludger could see his friend stiffen up. He wasn’t ignorant enough to not notice the subtle threat - no, the absolute promise that Ludger’s family could be affected negatively because they would get stuck in the crossfire. The Svent family was the most powerful group in the prefecture. Their group may deal in organized crime, but they brought a lot of order and peace behind them, the family’s large numbers snuffing out the weeds quickly and efficiently before they could fester and grow into something uncontrollable. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Milla was only a placeholder until Alvin finished school and accepted the bulk of his responsibilities, but even if Milla did a good job handling her role, she couldn’t  lead the Svent-<em> kai </em> themselves. There were plenty of loyalists who would rather die fighting her than be led by <em> impure blood. </em> <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“We don’t want to pressure you, Alvin,” Milla said sadly, her hands curling into fight fists. “If I could, I would let you live the life you wish, but I implore you to consider the situation fully before commiting to your decision.” <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Ludger may not have understood all the specifics himself, but he wasn’t ignorant. His family, while not intentionally, was tied with the yakuza by relation and that was more than enough reason for outside groups to justify hurting them. Elle could get hurt when she walked to school and Julius’s restaurant could suffer. The possibility made him feel ill.<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“Excuse me..” Ludger muttered, setting down his half finished tea cup, “I have to help <em> Nii-san </em> at the shop.” <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Jude paled, quickly nodded his head. “Ah, I apologize for keeping you like this, Ludger, I’m sure that this topic is rather... heavy.” <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>The grey haired teen caught Alvin opening his mouth, his body twitching in response to Jude. Before the brunette could say something he shouldn’t on his behalf, he placed a steady hand on his arm and shook his head.<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“Don’t worry about it,” He appreciated being kept in the loop, especially when the two were willing enough to empart sensitive information to him, “Have a good evening and thank you for the hospitality.” He stood up slowly, politely bowing at the waist before exiting through the doors. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>His shift at the restaurant was good, a moment of familiarity to settle his anxieties. It was seamlessly easy to slip into work, serving tables, cleaning dishes and tending to a guests needs. Their patrons were always kind, expressing their joy over their small restaurant having a peaceful atmosphere. Ludger liked to think that was because the older patrons were soft for the stray cat that frequented the front door and found it adorable to see Elle running around, cleaning the lobby on days she didn’t have school.  <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>A few days had passed since Ludger had last left the Svent household, focusing on school and work. It was easier to focus on mundane things as he continued to keep Alvin at arm's length, putting his wants on hold. It wasn’t easy, the urge to comfort and console Alvin never faded, the feeling intensifying whenever Ludger shut down invitations to spend time with each other and ignoring the pile of text messages and missed calls. Ludger hated it, but it was the only solution he could think of. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Him being close with Alvin meant that the brunette had a taste of normality, what it would have been like to live outside the violence and blood. A lot of the Svent’s had subtly expressed their dislike for Alvin growing so close with Ludger - a distraction, saboteur. Milla’s presence had stomped out the whispering, but that didn’t mean they still didn’t think it. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Ludger could not allow Alvin to lean on him, use him as an escape. Not if it meant risking Elle and Julius's safety. He couldn’t be that selfish.<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Slipping through the <em> noren </em>curtain, entering the kitchen with a small pile of dishes in hand. Placing the stack in the wash bin, he turned the tap on and waited a moment for the water to warm up, plugging the drain so that the basin could fill up. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“Oh, you can leave that to me, Ludger,” Julius said, his hands carrying another stack of used pots and pans. “We had a busy night, go ahead and head home early.” </p><p><br/>
“Are you sure? I don’t mind.” </p><p><br/>
“I know, but you seemed tired today.” <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“Oh, I didn’t notice..” He muttered. </p><p><br/>
Julius quirked an eyebrow, his lips twitching into something both fond, yet exasperated. Setting down the dishes into the basin alongside the others, the older brother reached for the dish soap and sponge. “Where’s Alvin, by the way,” He asked, casually, “He hasn’t visited in awhile, is something keeping him?” </p><p><br/>
“Yeah, <em> something </em>.” </p><p><br/>
“<em> Something </em>, hmm?” Ludger chose to ignore the shameless eyebrow wiggle. </p><p><br/>
“Yeah, yeah, something.” He huffed, rolling his eyes as he untied the apron around his waist, “I’m gonna go crash now.” </p><p><br/>
“Sweet dreams, baby brother! Be safe and make smart decisions~”</p><p><br/>
“Oh, can it, you jerk.” He grinned, elbowing his brother in the ribs, sending the blonde into a small fit of laughter. </p><p><br/>
Ludger exited through the backdoor, ready to pass out on his bed after a warm shower and reviewing the material on the next exam coming up. He didn’t realize it until Julius brought it to his attention, but he <em> was </em> tired. His head felt heavy and his joints were faintly sore from a night of unrestful sleep. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Opening the door to the side of the restaurant, Alvin was leaning against the back wall and met Ludger’s green eyes with a lopsided smile. The brunette looked uncharacteristically roughed up. His clothes were rumpled more than usual, his hair was ruffled up and he was sporting the makings of a bruise on his cheek. </p><p><br/>
He frowned, scanning for anymore injuries worriedly. When he found none, Ludger took Alvin by the wrist, halting Alvin from opening that dumb mouth of his, and silently forced him into following him back home. </p><p><br/>
The Kresnik household lived down the road from the shopping plaza, which made it a convenient commute between home and the restaurant. Unlocking the door to his house, Ludger noted that the lights were still off. Elle must still be playing at Elize-chan’s house. </p><p><br/>
The pair toed off their shoes before Alvin decided to finally break the silence. </p><p><br/>
“Am I allowed to talk, yet?”</p><p><br/>
“No.” </p><p><br/>
“Ludger, come on-” </p><p><br/>
“Be quiet and wait in my room.” He hissed, leaving the other to search for their first aid kit. It would also allow Ludger a moment to simmer on his own. </p><p><br/>
Walking upstairs with the medical kit, he found Alvin sitting on the floor of his room, unbuttoning his shirt to reveal defined muscles and bruised skin. His frown deepened further, kneeling down to the floor to pull out a jar of aloe vera and spread some over his fingers. </p><p><br/>
“Do I want to know?” Ludger started, keeping his eyes down and focused on the blooming bruises over his chest and ribs. He hated the sight, so much.</p><p><br/>
“You’ll get mad either way.” </p><p><br/>
“No, I won’t.” </p><p><br/>
“Can’t I just say that I came because I missed you and wanted to be nursed back to health by a beautiful man?” He asked, amber eyes memorizing the small flush that brushed over Ludgers cheeks. </p><p><br/>
“That would be a half-truth and I hate liars. They’re unattractive.” He quipped back, putting away the aloe vera and retrieved a roll of bandages so that the ointment wouldn’t stick to his clothes. </p><p><br/>
“Ludger, will you please look at me when we talk? You know I missed ya’.” </p><p><br/>
The boy bit the inside of his lip, focusing on his hands for another moment - hoping to resist the pull. It was a gross attempt, the grey haired teen had missed Alvin too. Slowly, emerald lifted to meet amber and forced his expression into something neutral. </p><p><br/>
“It was two days.” he said, blandly.</p><p><br/>
“Two days of hell.” He said, lips curling into a sad smile. “Are you still mad?” </p><p><br/>
“About you being stupid and getting roughed up in a fight?” </p><p><br/>
“About me being heir.” He corrected him, gently steering them into the direction of their real issues. “I thought that giving up the title would be easier.” </p><p><br/>
Back in middle school, Alvin had confessed to Ludger and in the same sentence, he kissed him. It was a sudden discovery for the brunette, apparently. Regardless, it caught Ludger off guard and his first reaction was to punch the boy in the face. He may not be proud of punching his childhood friend, but he morbidly proud to have left a bruise that lasted nearly two weeks before the coloring was no longer a deep purple. Milla’s teachings were effective.</p><p><br/>
Since then, Ludger neither accepted, nor denied his confession and Alvin was anything but determined. The older boy waited patiently as his feelings towards Ludger never wavered, holding back on his desires for Ludger’s sake. In hindsight, not responding really was the only way, after all, how could Ludger allow himself to fall in love with a man that was destined to die with the yakuza.</p><p><br/>
“Did you get beat up just so you could get an excuse to talk to me.” He accused, eyes narrowing at the other’s logic. Alvin was strong, he wouldn’t allow this much to happen to him unless it was on purpose. The idiot.</p><p><br/>
“You wouldn’t answer your phone.”</p><p><br/>
“You’re stupid.” </p><p><br/>
“Ah, and yet, you love me.” </p><p><br/>
Ludger stared into the others eyes, searching for <em> something. </em>Any sign that Alvin wasn’t actually in love with him. Something that Ludger could use to convince the stupid brunette in front of him to reconsider causing a turf war. Throwing away the one thing he was born to do for something as dumb as living a normal life with Ludger. Instead, all Ludger could find was unabashed affection and poorly concealed desire. As if simply being close to Ludger was enough, but unsatisfying.  </p><p><br/>
Faintly, Ludger realized that they were drawing closer and could feel the other’s touch on his hip. His firm hands were gentle, brushing against the fabric of Ludger’s jeans, fingers pressing to hold him closer. A fluttering feeling vibrated within his chest, the fatigue from earlier forgotten as his senses become hyper aware of the <em> warmth </em> Alvin gave off. Natural gravitation pulling the two closer despite Ludger’s efforts.</p><p><br/>
“... What would you do if I wasn’t around?” Ludger suddenly asked, leaning away as he became overwhelmed by the shift in atmosphere. </p><p><br/>
Alvin was contemplative, unphased by Ludger’s sudden question. If he was curious about the sudden change in topic, then he hid it well. After a beat, he responded slowly. “If this is hypothetical,” He started, cautious of the<em> idea </em> that Ludger wouldn’t be in his life, “I would cry. I’m not sure about after that, but I’m very sure I would cry.” </p><p><br/>
Alvin’s gaze lingered on the younger boy, carefully reading for any tells on Ludger’s face. It was difficult to mask his expression and Ludger was proud of his poker face, but right now he wasn’t sure if his face was giving anything away. </p><p><br/>
Then just to add another nail into the coffin, Alvin continued, his voice almost too soft to hear. “If you left, I don’t think I could love again.” </p><p><br/>
If Ludger’s face wasn’t showing anything before, it certainly was now. How unfair is this, really, saying something so shameless like that after Ludger had tried so hard to keep them at arm's length. Alvin had spared Ludger from having to hear a confirmation of his feelings, out of respect or fear of rejection, Ludger didn’t know. So, to actually hear him say that he loved him after so long of going without that reassurance. </p><p><br/>
“You play dirty...” He huffed, feeling his cheeks warm up considerably. </p><p><br/>
The other was shocked, he realized, deep amber memorizing the sight before him with awe. Reaching a hand up to brush away the asymmetrical coloring of Ludger’s hair away from his face with a teasing grin, “It’s your fault, you make <em> wooing </em> you very difficult.” Ludger rolled his eyes, jabbing a finger into one the other bruises and let up one Alvin hissed in pain. A cheap tactic to get back at him, but the brunette was too smug for his own good. </p><p><br/>
Ludger shook his head in slight exasperation, packed away his supplies. Jigsawing the bandages and ointments back into their places within the box. Once the case was closed, he stood up so that he could return the kit to the downstairs bathroom. A hand tugged at his occupied arm when he reached for his bedroom door. </p><p><br/>
He paused, words ready on on his tongue to voice his confusion before a pair of lips pressed against his and those words fell away into nothing. The press was warm, chapped lips meeting him in an innocent kiss. The hand holding his arm tightened, the weight of his medical box disappearing. </p><p><br/>
He was vaguely aware that Alvin had moved the med kit to the side, saving it just in time from falling because the moment Ludger’s hand was freed he reached up feel hard muscles and smooth skin. Their positions shifted as they remained lip locked and soon Ludger’s back was pressed against the door and his hands had slid up to Alvin’s neck, fingers intertwining shyly between strands of overgrown brown hair. Lips locked flush against each other as Alvin’s hands were digging into Ludger’s hips, calloused fingers exploring smooth, pale skin. </p><p><br/>
Ludger, mental restraints snapping and fraying like weathered ropes, became lost in the warmth and drowning in the sense of safety that came with being within Alvin’s arms. The brunette was much the same, if not worse if the heavy breathes from his nose meant anything. Hands grasping, a strong thigh sliding between the younger boys legs to support his weight because Ludger was just about melting. Everything was too warm, too much, too much, but not <em> nearly </em>enough. </p><p><br/>
Then a tongue was swiping across his lips, shy and explorative. Lost to the senses, Ludger parted in response with ease. Ludger’s room was filled with the sound of soft wettened smacks, a short moan escaping the youths as they explored each other shamelessly.  He smiled a little when the brunette groaned as he tugged at his hair, further burying his hands within dark brown locks. He felt like he was drowning, everything felt warm and fuzzy from head to toe and Ludger wondered why he refused this for so long. </p><p><br/>
Larger warm, so very warm, hands began moving north, sliding further up Ludger’s shirt and then suddenly the situation froze around him. What was he doing? <em> What the hell was he doing? </em> </p><p><br/>
Ludger parted quickly, hands moving on their own before finally the younger boy was restraining the brunette in a tight arm lock. </p><p><br/>
“Ah!” Alvin gasped, “Am I <em> that </em> shit at kissing?!” </p><p><br/>
“What are you doing?!” Ludger loosened the grip before his scattered nerves left his friend - partner,<em> lover(?) </em> - with a dislocated shoulder by accident. “You can’t do <em> that </em>! Are you asking for a death wish?” </p><p><br/>
“I thought it was clear that I’d rather give up the <em> Yakuza </em> than give up being with <em> you </em>!”</p><p><br/>
“That’s not a choice you just <em> make </em> , Alvin,” Ludger sighed heavily, burying his face in his hands. “You <em> can’t</em><em>. </em>” </p><p><br/>
Alvin breathed slowly, reeling himself in and giving the other some space, losing his grip so that his hands remained hovering by his sides. Keeping his presence near without crowding into his space. Really, why couldn’t he hold himself back better. He’s done well for almost four years, but he had to fuck it up because of his own fears when Ludger was just as scared. </p><p><br/>
Ludger has been more than aware of what being in a relationship would do to them both. Being together meant that Ludger would be putting a target on his back. It meant that Elle wouldn’t be allowed to live a normal life anymore, would have to be protected by men in suits every day and live a life similar to Alvin had which in of itself was pure hell. It meant Julius having to reconsider his restaurant because who would want to eat somewhere that had relations with the mafia.</p><p><br/>
It meant giving up a lot of things for something so selfish, so <em> normal </em>. It wasn’t fair.</p><p><br/>
It was a moment of weakness, of <em> longing, </em>watching Ludger care for him. To wordlessly love Alvin and he craved it so much. It was something they’ve done so many times before whenever the brunette got too wild in a fight. What broke the brunette’s resolve when the mask chipped away and all Alvin could see was requited feelings.</p><p><br/>
The flushed cheeks, the warmth that filled those bright, tender eyes. It wasn’t subtle, no longer restrained with that well practiced mask of indifference and concealed emotions. It was bursting with color; the love, the fondness, the awe - all of it. </p><p><br/>
The quiet kid that would only say a handful of words at a time when they were younger was nowhere to be seen and what was sitting in front of him was <em> beautiful. </em></p><p><br/>
Sue him for not wanting to let the other slip away after seeing something so raw, infatuation consumed with desire. Ludger was his, damn it, and Alvin gave himself to Ludger years ago when the other had socked him in the jaw back in middle school.</p><p><br/>
However, the swelling pain from the punch was nothing compared to the guilt that ate at him for forcing Ludger into such an impossible ultimatum. </p><p><br/>
“I’m sorry,” Alvin whispered quietly, reaching out to hold the other in his arms. When Ludger finally returned the hug, soft hands grasping at Alvin’s bareback, the brunette released a steady breath. “It’s going to be okay, I’m sorry, I promise..” </p><p><br/>
Ludger didn’t believe him, yet, but he selfishly let himself hold onto the hopeful words anyway. </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Milla’s office was peaceful. The <em> shoji </em>screen that led to the garden was left open, allowing natural light and clean air to filter in. The traditional tatami mats were comfortable, recently aired out so there wasn’t any lingering scent of musk or built up dust. </p><p><br/>
Ludger was visiting the Svent household again, only this time,  Elle had tagged along and Leia was actually on the property grounds today because she had work for Jude. Elle had insisted on coming along because she wanted to watch ‘Big Bro’ Alvin be ‘less of a loser’, or something along those lines. The young girl wasn’t exactly one to mince words and tended to avoid being transparent about her actual feelings.  </p><p><br/>
It’s been about a week since the “<em> incident”, </em> as Ludger decided to call it, and nothing has really changed from their dynamic. The only difference was that Alvin was pulling back on the usual physical affection. It was strangely infuriating, but it was probably for the better. </p><p><br/>
Milla was working at her desk, a low sitting table situated in the middle of the room with stacks of paper that were waiting for her signature. After she signed off on another routine report, she spoke up, “Is there a reason why you’re <em> here </em> and not out <em> there </em>?” She asked, “This room has a distinct lack of Alvin in it, you know.” </p><p><br/>
“Wanted to get away.” He replied vaguely.</p><p><br/>
“Did something happen?” </p><p><br/>
He didn’t respond right away, turning on his side so that he was now facing the garden. He noted the immaculately trimmed hedges, a small pond that rested underneath a Japanese black pine - the knowledge of the tree’s genis imparted onto him by a young, overzealous Alvin who tried to show off for Ludger by expressing his knowledge about plants. </p><p><br/>
“So, something did happen,” Milla hummed knowingly, “Forgive me for being so forward, but you can talk to me about it. Nothing has to leave this room.”</p><p><br/>
After a beat, Ludger picked up his head that was previously cushioned by a sitting pillow and looked over his shoulder to face the current head. “What’s your opinion on Alvin’s refusal to be the next heir?” He asked, testing the waters. </p><p><br/>
“You mean how he wants to live a normal life so he can potentially marry you?” She clarified, her voice teasing and playful. <em> Ah, so she knew the full details. </em> “I don’t particularly disagree.. I watched him grow up and support his best interests because I care for him.” She paused, letting the words settle before adding, “I believe that you are apart of his best interest. You make him very happy, Ludger.” </p><p><br/>
Ludger shoved down the blush beginning to form, sitting up from his position on the floor, “But you don’t want him to leave,” He said, reflecting on the conversation they shared a while ago. “Not really, at least.” </p><p><br/>
“I believe that there is a difference between decisions born from careful consideration and fool headedness.” </p><p><br/>
“What do you mean?” </p><p><br/>
Milla mulled over her words, fiddling with her pen before speaking again. “Let me try to explain this a different way.” She set down her pen, adjusting her position so that she could directly face Ludger. Hands folded over the blue silk of her kimono and legs folder underneath her. “When forming a plan of attack against a powerful enemy, what would you normally do?” </p><p><br/>
“Uh,” Ludger fumbled a little, unsure of the proper answer. “Analyze the situation, consider the most likely possibilities and risks, then execute accordingly, right?” He replied dumbly, referencing his subpar knowledge about chess. </p><p><br/>
“Very good,” She praised, “You see, Alvin isn’t forming a plan, he’s rushing into a losing battle fueled purely on adrenaline and powerful emotions. This is a rather avantgarde way of explaining, I know, but while I don’t disagree with Alvin’s choice, I don’t agree with how self-centered it is. The Yakuza isn’t something you can simply back out of, especially not for someone like Alvin.” </p><p><br/>
“Then there isn’t any hope of him being able to leave the family?” </p><p><br/>
“Unfortunately, no, not unless blood is shed.” Milla replied somberly, eyes downcast as she became depressed by her own words. </p><p><br/>
The boy’s hands clenched into fists, hating how useless he felt. In another life, maybe Ludger and Alvin could have met under more normal terms, but knowing their luck, they would probably find themself faced with dealing with some kind of world ending catastrophe.</p><p><br/>
“However,” Milla suddenly perked up, “There are <em> alternative ways </em> to satisfy the status quo.”</p><p> </p><p>When Ludger picked his head up to face the scheming blonde with a raised eyebrow, she continued with a smug grin. </p><p><br/>
Then suddenly it all clicked. </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Jude entered Milla’s office with a delightful smile, behind him was a reluctant Alvin, the physician having dragged the heir by the neck. “It wasn’t easy, but I did it!” He announced. </p><p><br/>
The brunette floundered looking between the secretive smile Milla sported, Ludger sitting in front of her desk with an expectant look on his face and the empty sake cup sitting at the boy’s knees. </p><p><br/>
“What’s going on,” Alvin asked, “I feel like I’m missing something.” </p><p><br/>
“Just sit down,” Jude instructed, pushing the brunette into a sitting position on the opposite side of the cup to face Ludger. Once he was situated and thoroughly confused, Jude moved back to the <em> shoji </em> doors with a grin. “I’ll leave you all to it, don’t worry, I’ll keep an eye on Elle for you, Ludger.” </p><p><br/>
“Thank you.” He said, bowing his head before the doors closed to give the group some privacy. </p><p><br/>
“Can someone finally fill me in,” Alvin whined, rubbing the back of his neck with a frown. Jude may be a doctor, but that didn’t mean the man wasn’t deceptively strong. </p><p><br/>
“I’m sure you can piece everything together yourself, Alvin.” Milla said smugly, “Oh, don’t mind  me though, I’m just a witness.” </p><p><br/>
“For the last time, it’s not <em>that </em>kind of ceremony,” Ludger sighed.</p><p><br/>
Curious eyes trailed back between the sake cup and the bottle of sake resting on Milla’s desk, the gears moving in his head slowly before everything began to make sense. Once Alvin figured out what was happening, he couldn’t help the steady blush rising to his face. </p><p><br/>
“I just said it’s not that kind of ceremony!” </p><p><br/>
“You can’t blame me for thinking about it like <em> that </em>, I’ve been fantasizing about this for years!” </p><p><br/>
“Well it’s not!” </p><p><br/>
Ludger swiped the bottle from Milla’s desk, filling the cup until the liquid threatened to spill over the edge. Setting aside the bottle, the teen lifted the lip of the shallow cup to his mouth and took a generous sip. Once he drank half, he moved it away from him. The sake burned going down his throat, smooth but still held the powerful effect of alcohol.</p><p><br/>
“Hang on, Ludger,” Alvin hesitated, staring at the cup with apprehension. “You know what it means if I drink the rest of that. This family takes tradition really seriously.” </p><p><br/>
“I know.” <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“I- Milla, you can’t possibly-!”</p><p><br/>
“I informed Ludger of everything he needed to know and Ludger chose to follow through with it on his own.” She said, smiling proudly at the two. </p><p><br/>
Ludger thrust the cup forwards, quirking an eyebrow in suggestion. Alvin let out a frustrated sigh, leveling the other with an even stare and when Ludger didn’t falter, he surrendered. </p><p><br/>
“You’re going to be the death of me,” Alvin said, taking the cup from Ludger’s hand before drinking the rest of the sake. </p><p><br/>
“Not exactly,” Ludger shook his head, “By doing this, I’ll be able to keep you and everyone else safe. Now, our bond is now stronger than any wedding vow.” </p><p><br/>
“I think I’m going to die,” Alvin moaned, keeling over the floor and resting his face into the folds of his arms. A pathetic attempt at hiding the embarrassed flush across his face, really, because Ludger could see the tips of his ears turn pink. “I’m really going to die.” </p><p><br/>
Ludger laughed softly, petting the brunette’s hair as he folded over his legs to reach across the short space between them. Fingers running through meticulously styled brown hair, bright emerald silently memorizing everything to memory. This was his now, he wasn’t going to lose this, not ever.</p><p><br/>
“Love you too, <em> Boss </em>.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Not important but:</p><p>+White morning glories symbolizes purity and hummingbirds in Native American culture are seen as healers and bringers of love, good luck and joy. In Central America, they are a sign of love and will bring love to the person who spots them. So, you know :3c</p><p>+A sworn allegiance to the oyabun is often formalized by ceremonial sharing of sake from a single cup. This ritual is not exclusive to the Yakuza—it is also commonly performed in traditional Japanese Shinto weddings.</p><p>Find me on twitter @ luxraoe I mostly retweet stuff and share pics of my dog lol</p></blockquote></div></div>
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